Brian McLaren: I'm only a freshman in college but....

I'm only a freshman in college but....

I just recently read your book, "A New Kind of Christian," recommended by two friends of mine. You see, although I am not very knowledgable on all the lingo of "moderninsm" and "postmodernism," I feel that I have been living in quite a struggle of my own with this-just no knowing what the heck the struggle was. I still am very much in this stuggle! Even though this book is 3 years old, it still applies as the "Christian" world we live in today is very much "modern." I find that I very much so relate to the fictional character, Dan Poole. I am very much a skeptic by nature, and find it very hard to find something that I fully believe in.

I am only a freshmen in college, but the struggle that I have in my mind, heart, and soul is very real and it just does a number on me everyday that I live! I find it hard to hold back tears as I write this, and the funny thing is that you probably will never see this as it will be viewed by your assistants, not by you. I just am so thirsty and desperate to really find God and live my life truly as a Son of God, and to know the Saviour of all of Mankind as intimately as I am taught that we really can. Its just that for all of my efforts in trying to "know" this God, not knowing where to really start, I just find myself back where I started from, and many times worse off than I was to begin with. I have grown up in the church and attended it all of my life and have always tried to live my life as a "Christian." But the older I get, the more I find myself just falling farther and farther from this and it scares me to death! I know that you are a very busy man, being an author, a pastor, and a father/husband, but it would be such a blessing for me if there was anyway that you could respond to this email. I have questions that I would like to ask you but if you cant really respond then I need to know so I wont be writing uneccessary emails. Thank you very much for your inspiration and courage to write this book, and for considering my request.

First of all, yes, I do read these questions, but sadly, it has been months since you wrote me, and I’m only now getting to answer it – while sitting in an airport in Amsterdam, Netherlands. I’m sorry for the delay. I wish I could spend a long time with you in online or in-person conversation, but I’m only one person, as you said, with many duties and commitments. So, most strongly I want to encourage you to find some friends to dialogue about these things with. Emergentvillage.com should be a good place to make some contacts in your area. You need a community of people, so you can engage in conversation and mutual encouragement together.

With a few good friends with whom you can be honest (anything short of this doesn’t deserve the name “fellowship”), I am confident that you can get through this time of doubt and fear, and find, as I have, that there is a new and wiser simplicity beyond the current complexity, and a new joy beyond the current doubt. I hope my book “Finding Faith” could be of help to you as well.