I am a missionary on staff with XXX at a multi-generational, multi-ethnic, multi-status church-plant in XXX. My wife and I came here after spending two years in campus ministry at XXX.
Having met you at XXX in January 2002 and having read The Church on the Other Side, Finding Faith, More Ready Than You Realize, A New Kind of Christian, and A Generous Orthodoxy, I thought you would be a good person to whom I could bring a question about my soccer team, my wife, and Hooters.
I recently joined a men’s soccer team. I joined to get some exercise, to enjoy some healthy competition, and to engage the community in a way unrelated to my church ministry. I am the only Christian – as far as I know – on the team.
At our first practice, I was asked what I do for a living. I cringed and said, ‘I’m the youth and music pastor at a new church near here.’ Several guys immediately apologized for swearing in front of me. I assured them that I was not concerned about that and that they might hear me swear under similar circumstances (missing a shot on goal, etc.)
I knew then that to them my faith concerned morality and little more. Originally I was looking forward to hanging out with the guys after the game, grabbing some wings and beer at a local pub. However, I’ve come to find out that the team tradition is to go to Hooters. I’m married and have been for nearly 3 years. My wife and I have a solid relationship and sexual sin is not an issue with which we are confronted. However, out of respect for my wife, I don’t go to Hooters.
How do I continue to engage the guys on my soccer team without hanging out with them at Hooters and feeding their view that faith equals morality?
Answer: First, I think it’s great that you’re engaging with your friends on the team, and second, I think it’s great that you’re respecting your wife’s wishes. You might privately approach a couple of the team leaders and explain your situation and ask if they’d be willing to gather someplace else. If they aren’t willing, you could throw a couple parties at your house so they’d hang out in a different setting. HTH.